Disclaimer: all names have been changed for the persons privacy.
I Ghosted My Best Friend
I’m not proud of it and none of this is meant to be an excuse, just a story hoping that if someone else is in a similar situation it can help them make decisions before it gets too late.
We met in high school. She was older than me and I thought she was the cool kid. And she was. She always had money, her parents didn’t care where she was, and her cell phone had unlimited data (a rarity in 2011).
We were in marching band together, and the first time I really knew that we were friends was on our way home from our trip to Washington D.C. We were on the same bus but she was a few rows back from me. When we were about 5 hours from home, she came up and sat on the floor next to me and we talked and played games until we pulled into the high school.
She would pick me up and we would go driving. We had more than one near death experience and ate A LOT of Cherry Berry. When she was a senior she told me that she FINALLY hooked up with the guy she had a crush on forever.
After she graduated, I visited her dorm room and finally knew where I wanted to go to school. She was still hooking up with that guy, it took a while for them to be “official”.
My parents got divorced that year, and because of the traumatizing circumstances, it really brought me and “Ashley” closer. Her sophomore year of college she lived in an apartment with a girl she hated, and I was a freshman living in a dorm with a girl I hated. She got along with my new friends too but it was kind of hard because she was living off campus and working.
The next year I moved in to the apartment with her and we spent our nights watching Harry Potter and doing homework at the kitchen table. Sometimes we were really productive and sometimes we weren’t. But we passed, we used my fake ID to drink wine and Nick (the boy from before) would come visit every once in a while.
There’s something I should tell you about Nick. He did (and definitely still does) heroine. I was never ok with this, but I never really had any reasons to not like him other than that. He said he wasn’t an addict and it wasn’t affecting his life.
I knew it, but I loved her. She was my best friend.
He stood her up.
Changed their plans at the last second.
Made her cry and took her anxiety to the next level.
Was too high to drive down for New Years so she had to go up there.
Then he OD’d.
He spent a ridiculously short amount of time in rehab. She said she wouldn’t take him back until he was sober.
Now she was in Law School.
And he got arrested. Now he went to rehab and stayed there.
It had been almost eight years of me avoiding her boyfriend. And telling her my true opinions. So I gave her an ultimatum.
Him or me.
She chose me.
A few weeks into rehab, she went to visit.
And then she was visiting every time she could.
Then she came to meet my new boyfriend. My first boyfriend ever. And couldn’t be bothered to talk to him. She spent the first hour on her phone, and the next ordering pizza that ended up never coming. BF went to bed and she ended up leaving to go get her pizza.
That was the last time I ever saw her. We have only talked once since, when I tried to see what she thought of BF and why she had acted like that. She spent and hour blaming me for her behaviour.
This doesn’t recount the times where my family told me they didn’t want me around her, the holidays she ruined, or the many times I worried and honestly still do, that Nick was dead with a needle in his arm and had dragged her down with him.