It’s OK that they left

I’m afraid people will leave.

Because people have left.

My aunt literally didn’t talk to me for A YEAR because she was under the impression that I lied to her. Which I hadn’t.

My best friend in college stopped talking to me because there was a mix up in plans while going to a concert on campus so we didn’t get to walk to the on-campus event together, and I had the AUDACITY to still enjoy myself with my other friend there. I’m OK that she left.

My immediate family has a habit of just being silent while angry. This is not an effective way of “not being angry” which is what everyone thinks they are doing. They give looks and turn their backs which has instilled a large amount of anxiety in me and has taken HOURS of therapy to figure out why.

Currently, I am not being talked to by my dad’s entire side of the family for a reason still unknown to me. My mother is also mad at me because I am putting more time into my boyfriend, whom I live with, than I was before.

I’m 23. I have a full-time job, and I haven’t lived with her since I was 17 when I figured out the abusive tendencies that she was exhibiting.

Another best friend for EIGHT YEARS walked away from me because in her words she was too anxious to make conversation with my boyfriend. Meanwhile, I had been putting up with her drug addict of a boyfriend for nearly all eight years we had known each other. Now, I believe in anxiety and all other mental health issues, but if you can sit in someone’s house and speak only to the person who doesn’t even live there the whole time. That’s more than anxiety, I don’t even know what to call it. We stopped speaking almost six months ago and I haven’t missed her even once, which speaks to my own mental health issues. But I’m ok that she left.

Because of examples like these, I tend not to get too attached to people. I just left a job that I had been at for a year and a half, and I literally miss like three people. It was a coaching job where I worked with the same group of kids for nine weeks at a time and I literally miss the kids.

I’ve learned that the important people, the people that I actually want in my life, will not leave for trivial things.

It’s OK, and probably for the better, that those people left. I’m with people who care about me and I literally have people who I have known for six months just giving me randoms presents because they love me, while my own family is ignoring me because…?

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